Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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