How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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A black man without problems.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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