A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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