how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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The AIDS patient was gay

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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