what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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