Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Popsicles

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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