why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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guess what?

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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