Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops