What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

Itookasipasoda

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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