Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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666

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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theres a fat guy

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Like my status for a tbh?

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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The AIDS patient was gay

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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