What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Itookasipasoda

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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