A baby seal walks into a club...

Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

theres a fat guy

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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