What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Poop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops