A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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