2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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