How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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The joke below me is retarded

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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