roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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