Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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what happens when you wake up inception

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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