What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops