A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Diana and victoria

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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what happens when you wake up inception

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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