Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops