There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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69.... is a number

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make me a sandwich!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Poop.

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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