what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +119

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops