Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Lacrosse

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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