Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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Gay rights

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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my names jim haha

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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