What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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