why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops