Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops