what happens when you wake up inception

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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anti-joke teehee

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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YOLO

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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