How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Womens rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops