What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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YOLO

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops