When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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