Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Animal

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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i have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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