A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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anti-joke teehee

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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