What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Arrow to the Knee

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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I went to the store and I fell

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Boom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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