What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Boom.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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penis

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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