Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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penis

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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