Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Boom.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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