What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Boom.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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