What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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a Jew had a small nose

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Boom.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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I've got a boner

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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someone called a frog a frog

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops