What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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what sucks? things that suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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