Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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PATHETIC

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops