Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

thumb_up thumb_down +463

What happens when you choke a smurf? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +802

Knock knock Who's there The mailman The mailman who? You are so dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +596

Why was the black person promptly escorted out of the bar? He was under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +738

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Many pirates were illiterate and so did not know any letters, much less have a favorite. However, even if this pirate were able to read, it is unlikely that we would be able to find out his favorite letter without asking him, since pirates were primarily in existence two to four centuries ago. In addition, most people don't have a favorite letter, and so a pirate would probably not be an exception.

thumb_up thumb_down +598

A duck walks into a bar and is quickly shooed away because it is unsanitary to have a duck in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +594

Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza does'nt scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -271

There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

thumb_up thumb_down +528

How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict? It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +707

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless she's too short, in which case she may get someone else to do it for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +546

what do you call a black man with no arms or legs sitting on a porch? "sir" His life is hard enough with out being subject to social rudeness

thumb_up thumb_down +680

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down +312

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,322

What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +469

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +310

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -149

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bar was closed due to the poor economy. Luckily there was an Applebee's across the street and they were able to save money with half-priced appetizers.

thumb_up thumb_down +577

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +393

Whats worse than the holocaust? Reading the same holocaust anti-jokes for the third time. Well the holocaust is worse, but that's not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down +615

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing baseball? It depends on what the name of each individual is.

thumb_up thumb_down +588

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +305

Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -358

Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

thumb_up thumb_down -434

What animal is green and eats rocks? The green rockeater

thumb_up thumb_down +327

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops