Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Steve Jensen. Oh hi Steve, come in.

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

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A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her? Substance abuse and loneliness.

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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there's a irishman, australian and and englishman man on a plane. they are going to france

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12

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Why couldn't the Mexican get a proper job? Because of his low socio-economic background and lack of education.

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what did the woman say when her husband punched her? nothing. she was physically abused for 35 years before she killed herself

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In Soviet Russia, joke tells YOU! ...because that is the syntax of the language.

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Your Mom is so fat... Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

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Why is the sky blue? the game

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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