200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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