Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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How old are you? 7

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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