Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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