Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Tall asians

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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your going to die

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops