What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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How old is your mom Dead

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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