Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Girls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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