If you just read this, You're dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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What is a chair?

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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