How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a bear. Rob.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down

man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops