Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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The Qur'an

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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