knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Go away still nothing to see

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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I like your hair

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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SPAMS!!!

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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