What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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