How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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ow

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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donald................duck for president

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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