What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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CAS

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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