Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Your momma's so fat...

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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