What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Y u do dis?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -5

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops