Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

European on my shoes, buddy.

How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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