So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Chinese drivers.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Asians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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