- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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9/11/2001

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Racial Equality.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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People with cancer.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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