what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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penis. nuff said.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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boobs!

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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