What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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