What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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1

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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