What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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