Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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