How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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