What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Chinese drivers.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Mark Wilson

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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