How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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Sac

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Black Friday

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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