Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -62

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops