Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

im gay because im gay

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops