A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

Some people like melon and others like soup.

You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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