A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

Chad Wolbert is retarded.

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

rocky is here again.......................

Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

women's rights

What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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