I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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