knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Nick Cannon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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