Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: Doesn't matter, got hit by car.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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