Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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