i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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field day?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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