Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What looks like a dick? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wheelchair high jump

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Black History Month

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -33

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops