Knock knock Come In.......

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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The penn state football administration

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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5

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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¿melano?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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