What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Justin bieber is a loser! One Direction all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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