How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Welcome To Facebook

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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