Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +30

25

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops