A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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