Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

A blonde walked into a phone pole.

I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

We can beat the holocaust joke as the most liked joke, Please participate with my campaign and like the joke. I really need some attention

What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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