What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo momma so fat that she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops