One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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