What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Sorry boss

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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you will now laugh.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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