Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Do you know what they say? Words

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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