A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Anti-joke.

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What did the fish say? Moo

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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guess what chicken butt

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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