Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

thumb_up thumb_down -72

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what colour is a frog green you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +35

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops