how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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feces

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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68 :)

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Your time.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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