Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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240

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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