24!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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