Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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Penis.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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