How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm gay. No homo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops