Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down -62

your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops