How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Dani barton= lovely

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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