What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

what did the black man say to the white man? hi

A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

What's after 9/11? 9/12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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