What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Why did the dodo cross the road Dodos are extinct so therefor they are unable to

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Dubstep < Music

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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