How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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LOL May Wong

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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