Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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