"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

this is a joke

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

George Bush does not care about black people.

Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

a black guy walks into a fast food place.

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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