What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops