What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Farts smell bad!

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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wnba

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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