How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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hi

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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hi

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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#scabbers

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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