Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm gay. No homo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops