There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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25

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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