When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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yfygcugyuyc

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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( o Y o )

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops