Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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