What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

thumb_up thumb_down +38

OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Watch your lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what colour is a frog green you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Waseem is not a funny guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops