What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

I can Nazi

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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