if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

motley crew

What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

42

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

hi

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

your a towel.

Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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