whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

68 :)

So. The gays. ...

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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