An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Yo daddy!

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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hi

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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