A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alt F4

thumb_up thumb_down -13

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What looks like a dick? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wheelchair high jump

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Black History Month

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What looks like half an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops