What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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