A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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