OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +29

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +27

7

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops