A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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hi

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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hi

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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