Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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marshal sterio had sex

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I'm banging your sister.

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12

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Hearpin my durp

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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