knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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anti jokes

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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poop

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What's a small person? A midget

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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