What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Weiner

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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Knock knock. Death.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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