What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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knock, knock. come in.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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