What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Waseem is not a funny guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

7

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Romney 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops