Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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a

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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