What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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