what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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Penis.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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