Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

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the real mccoy

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Wheelchair high jump

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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