MICHAEL

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PUDDING

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Vagina ass.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

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Alex Eggbert

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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