What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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The penn state football administration

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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