What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

AVB

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black priest? Religious.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops