Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

I tell an anti joke!.

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

yo momma so fat that she's fat

7

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

i love huge wieners.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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