How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

What did the clock say? The time.

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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