How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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