What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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69, hahaha

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops