Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Are you a human?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like to eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alex Eggbert

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm gay. No homo.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

5

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops