Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops