What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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knock knock who's there?

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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