Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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guess what chicken butt

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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68 :)

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mc hammers income.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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