Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Watch your lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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