When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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why?

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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