Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I'm banging your sister.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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