Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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27

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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