- Anti Joke

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

Take my wife- to the store.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

mc hammers income.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

Your time.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

sarah taylor

why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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