I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Potato.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Matt Damon

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops