My butt!!!!

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

A blind man walks into a bar

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

Potato.

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

25

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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