Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Knock Knock Come in

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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