Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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anti jokes

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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poop

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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