you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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25

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Hearpin my durp

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Matt Damon

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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