b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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