A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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whats better than sex? cookies

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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High school gym class.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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