A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Feet

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops