Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops