whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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woman's rights

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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