(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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