A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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