so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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antijoke is the best website.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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