What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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