What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Sarah Palin's political campaign

Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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