Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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