Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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