Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops