How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops