Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops