knock knock Dave's not here.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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