Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Cripples are lame.

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I? Everett

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Tony Romo

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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