How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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