Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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NEVER

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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