Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops