GOODBYE

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guess what? bannanas

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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