What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man checks his mypsace

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops