- Anti Joke

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.