Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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