Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

PICKLES

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops