Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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