what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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