Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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knock knock come in

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops