Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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salad days!

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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your mum

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womans having rights.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops