An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

Barack Obama is a good president.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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