How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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