Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops