Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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A pope meets another one

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops