This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Want to hear a joke? Obama

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

What happened to the white man who beat up the black man? He was arrested for assault and battery. What happened to the black man who beat up the white man? He was also arrested for assault and battery. Their races have no superiority to the law.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

I just threw up..In my pants.

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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