Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops