I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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