Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops