If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

hey guys im gay

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

What's 9+10? 19

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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