There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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