A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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I have a really funny joke.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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