A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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