I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

Anti - Jokes. com

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

human centipede

Apple hates Blackberry.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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