Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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