My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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