What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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