What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops