What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +4

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops