Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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