Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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I don't get it

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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