What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Black people stink of shite!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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