What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops