Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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9

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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