What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red poo is poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops