A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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