Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

u know whats a crime? rape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops