Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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