What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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