What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops