What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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