A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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A pope meets another one

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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