Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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