"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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