An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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