Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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