- Anti Joke

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers