How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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derp

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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