What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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