I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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