Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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