Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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