what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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