How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops