what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Hello

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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hi michael

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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