Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

thumb_up thumb_down -31

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

thumb_up thumb_down -31

learn. advance!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops