2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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