What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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