What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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