What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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want more?

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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