Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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