Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops