How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops