What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

thumb_up thumb_down +11

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops