A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What page are you on The gay page.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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haha black people :D

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how do you win a game try your best

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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