How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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miha kako si?

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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