What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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