What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops