What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

a person who will soon die of beeties

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

What do you call a black man? Rob

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...