A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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