Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

A seal walks into a club.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

Whats brown and smells bad poo

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

united we sit, cause we're fat

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...