What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops