"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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