A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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the WNBA.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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