Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

white or wheat? wheat please.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -22

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats gay and american? a gay american

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops