1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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