What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

guess what what ...

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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