- Anti Joke

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

The chickens have become self-aware!

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.