How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops