What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Hi

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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