What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Jesus wept.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Poop.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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