Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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