What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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