Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

feminine literature

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my whole life!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops