A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops