- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

Y u do dis?

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Knock Knock Who's there

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops