what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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ewrg

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Praise Paisley

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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