What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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24

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Hi

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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