Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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