Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

matt shut up

82

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

British Dentistry

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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