Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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