What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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space is fun

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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This is not a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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