roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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JEWS

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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knock, knock. come in.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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