What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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