A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Video Games

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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Are you a human?

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Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops