Ms. Smoot's class

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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twilight

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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