Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Jason Connor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats 9 + 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +22

yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +20

this is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops