Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black priest? Religious.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops