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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Wheelchair high jump

Black History Month

what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

What looks like half an apple? The other half.

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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