Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

7

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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