Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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NEVER

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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