A terrorist robs a walrus.

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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