How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops