What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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